Sex Education in the U.S.A: A Bleeping Travesty
When was the first time you learned about sex? Were you in fifth grade in an awkward Sex Ed class, was it when you were in high school, at your first big dance, was it in college with your crush, was it when you had your wedding night with your true love (like that happens nowadays)?
How exactly did you learn about sex, I mean, what did you consider your education? Was it your best friends, your liberal parents, getting pregnant, watching copious amounts of porn, wandering nervously in a bookstore, a romance novel, an actual college Human Sexuality course?
Or was your first sexual experience and education through molestation, incest, or rape, as a youth? Who helped you and taught you how to be in your body again without feeling shame or fear? Did you even tell anyone or were you made to feel shameful and that you were not allowed to talk about it and it never happened?
If you’re like many who live in the United States, most likely you never were given any formal education unless you took Human Sexuality in college, were sent to a counselor because you were pregnant, purchased a Kama Sutra book, or one of your first lovers was awesome and took the time to really teach you about sex and your body. It’s no secret that the U.S. falls way behind in many things now a days, education being one of them. We can barely keep art classes in high school let alone keep students enrolled in school and sex ed is taught in P.E….right?!
Schools have to fight to teach a basic “Sex Ed” class and the preferred teaching from the right wing conservatives is abstinence or a condom demonstration from Planned Parenthood. All of it practically, with the exception of the condom demonstration, a complete fucking waste of time for our students, who in the mean time learn about sex from watching porn. This would be fine if they had other role models instead of watching something that portrays women being dominated and completely submissive or in threesomes with other women as a man watches. All usually one sided and an unhealthy intro for any beginner seeking sexual knowledge.
So what do we do? How do we stop the rate of sexual abuse and shame from rising daily? Some may argue that teen pregnancy is down because of the use of IUD’s and Teen Mom type shows but that didn’t stop sexual abuse and human sexual trafficking in the US to skyrocket the past couple of years. What the hell is going on indeed. People spend millions of dollars in campaigns to shed a negative light on abortion or in support of abortion but I ask you, Where the shit is the education to prevent this in the first place?!!! Sex Ed in high school or in fifth grade or whenever you had it was a joke and you know it. It was basically a glorified Physiology class!
Where is the sex education that is actually useful and teaches teens or adults for that matter about ACTUAL SEX AND INTIMACY! I was speaking with a wedding planner I met at an event recently and she debated with me that college is the perfect age for a Human Sexuality class and I respectfully said, bull shit. By the time our kids are in college they are either filled with misinformation, no information, or have had a bevy of lovers and think they’re awesome when in reality, they don’t have a clue on how to properly stimulate an orgasm or multiple orgasms in their partner(s). So why in God’s great name are we waiting and hoping maybe they take it in college?!
A human sexuality course needs to happen in high school, yes high school all you prudes! It’s not like I’m saying it should happen in middle school or elementary school so stop having a cow already. If it was up to me, a sex ed course in high school would be mandatory, like math or English. How else are they going to learn about masturbation, the glories of menstruation, orgasm, being a great lover to yourself and your beloved/partner(s)? Some of you are freaking out, so take a deep breath, you know it’s all important to learn. And take another breath in because of course teaching about physiology is important too and all the different relationship styles and the horrid STD’s they could catch or pregnancies that could happen if they tempt fate, make mistakes or are just making stupid choices.
Our kids need us to take a stand and put our grown up pants on and stand up to the school system run by conservative right wing religious prudes and demand that they help us teach our kids about SEX! We need to start a movement to make all high schools teach a Human Sexuality course, our present and future generations are depending on us to teach them to love their bodies instead of feeling shame and doubt when it comes to sex and love. It’s our job to get this movement going now, at this time in history, who’s with me?
Written by Dominique Peters
Sex and Relationship Coach