Take a deep breath.
I want you to imagine what it feels like to take your first sip of hot coffee in the morning.
Or maybe how it feels to smell a bunch of fresh cut flowers. Or how it feels when somebody gives you a back rub after a long day sitting in front of the computer.
Feels good, doesn’t it?
This is what pleasure is. Pleasure is something that you feel first and foremost in your body. It’s anything that feels yummy & delicious.
One of the biggest misconceptions about pleasure is that it only means sexual pleasure. Now don’t get me wrong, my work is about helping both women and men experience more sexual pleasure, but the secret to feeling more sexual pleasure is to start feeling pleasure in all its forms.
Do you remember the last time you felt real pleasure in your body that wasn’t related to sex?
I blame our culture.
We are afraid of pleasure
In the west, we are pleasure-phobic because there is a deeply ingrained belief that we must work hard and suffer to be worthy. In the USA, workers receive an average of just 10 days paid holiday in a whole year- including Christmas Day! American workers are working more than ever before and taking less time off, is it any wonder that we are feeling more stressed than ever?
When I was trying to get some statistics for this article, I typed into Google, “Why pleasure is […]” and the first suggestion that came up was, “Why pleasure is bad”.
We have a deeply held belief (which you can trace back to our founding fathers’ Puritanical roots) that pleasure equals sin.
I invite you to sit for a minute and feel into what comes up for you when you think about pleasure. Are you worried it means going into excess? That it means hedonism? That it will become addictive in the same way we can become addicted to alcohol, fatty foods, cigarettes and recreational drugs?
If we are so deeply afraid of feeling pleasurable sensations, then I say no wonder we are feeling so stressed and disconnected from our bodies, and consequently aren’t enjoying sex!
Pleasure is medicine
I want to introduce a radical new way of thinking about pleasure: Pleasure as healing medicine. There is more scientific evidence coming out about how pleasure decreases stress hormones, increases all the feel-good hormones of oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins, inhibits inflammation and even slows down the aging process!
If it’s commonly acknowledged that stress is the number one cause of most serious illnesses and health conditions, then wouldn’t pleasure be the number one remedy?
In our fast-paced and overstressed society, we need to be doing more of what brings us real joy and lights us up.
Tantra teaches us that pleasure is medicine and that pleasure is a practice: this is what I teach to my clients.
Pleasure is a practice
Taking the time to cultivate pleasure in your life may not be easy at first. We have been so conditioned to shut down our authentic feelings, desires, and dreams that to reverse this behavior can take some work.
When I work with women, their most common resistance is that they don’t want to be “selfish”, “demanding” or they’re afraid of offending someone. They think they’re just too busy to focus on themselves, even if it’s just for 20 minutes a day and they’ve got no energy for it.
Can you hear yourself saying that, as you read this? What’s stopping you from taking 20 minutes a day doing something that brings you joy?
Cultivating pleasure means actively searching for what brings you a feeling of joy, bliss, and connectedness. It can be as simple as when you’re walking in your neighborhood and you smell the aroma of freshly baked bread as you walk past a bake shop, you stop for a few moments and allow yourself to inhale the smell. Or if you’re sitting inside your house reading the newspaper and you see that the sun is shining outside, that you go and sit in the garden and enjoy the sunshine.
Here’s my challenge to you:
Make a “bliss list” of everything that brings you pleasure, alone, with friends and with a partner. You’ll find that when you start making a conscious effort to experiencing more pleasure in your life, you’ll find more things that bring you pleasure!
If you want to take the next step to experience more joy, bliss, and pleasure in your life, I have tailored packages designed to support you using Tantric techniques and my signature program, the Sacred Sexual Compass.
I invite you to book a free 30-minute Sacred Compass Activation with me to see how it can transform your life by clicking here.