Who do you consider your teacher?
We find many teachers as we journey through life- some we intentionally choose, and some who find their way to us. When you choose to take a journey of personal, spiritual and sexual growth, you will look for someone who’s been there and who can guide you along. You’ll look for a spiritual teacher or even a guru who’s walked the path so that you can find your own path.
You’ll find many Tantra teachers and training programs out there, however, they are not always what they seem. A few schools of Tantra have been in the media recently having been outed with very serious allegations of sexual misconduct and assault by their students. I feel that it’s my duty of care to encourage you to really do your research when choosing a teacher, training program or “guru”. (I do not believe in “gurus” by the way!).
The best teachers are those who walk their talk, who’ve been to hell and back and can now light the way for you. They don’t just tell you what to do, they go through it with you.
I am always very careful about who I choose to teach me, and with very good reason.
I trained with many renowned teachers, including Psalm Isadora, SARK, Shiloh Sophia Mcloud who I respected and admired. I also came across many people who called themselves teachers who I would not recommend.
Before you choose a teacher, here are 5 questions that I always ask myself before choosing a teacher, and I invite you to do the same:
Are they genuine?
Are they speaking from the heart, or are they just repeating a lot of spiritual new age nonsense? Do they genuinely care about the welfare of their students? Do they show care in their classes?
Have they lived through what they teach?
Have they been to hell and back? Do they practice what they preach on a day-to-day basis? Are they really “walking the walk” as opposed to just saying all the right things?
What do their past students say?
A genuine teacher will be happy for you to speak to past students and ask for feedback. Really do your homework and find out what previous students have said and how they found the teacher.
How do they handle complaints?
Pay attention to how your teacher handles complaints and criticism. Do they go on the defensive and try to blame the accuser? Do they make excuses and claim it was just a “mistake”? Or do they own their crap, take responsibility and try to make amends?
Do they have accountability?
Nobody, not even your guru, is beyond accountability! Nobody can do this kind of work alone and without peer support. Does your teacher have a support system of their own and mentors of their own? In most forms of psychotherapy, supervision is mandatory precisely because nobody is perfect. If your teacher is truly alone and says they don’t “need” mentors- that’s a warning sign!
I have mentors, colleagues, and supporters because I am human. As is your teacher.
Above all, use your discernment and trust your gut instinct. If you’re getting a strong gut reaction about a teacher or training, HONOR THAT and walk away.
Nobody is perfect, and sometimes your teacher will mess up because we are all human. Yes, even me! What matters is how they take responsibility for their actions and for their students.
Think very carefully about calling somebody a “guru” and putting them on a pedestal. Nobody is “above” you and spiritual abilities do NOT equate being an integrated person or having integrity.
What do you think? What questions do you ask before choosing a new teacher?
I hope that if you choose me as your teacher, I will prove myself to you and earn your trust. If you feel called to work with me, then I invite you to join the Sacred Sexual Compass program which started last week.