What if your holiday season could be completely stress-free? The biggest secret to beating stress is by practicing extreme self-care!
Who do you consider your teacher?
We find many teachers as we journey through life- some we intentionally choose, and some who find their way to us. When you choose to take a journey of personal, spiritual and sexual growth, you will look for someone who’s been there and who can guide you along. You’ll look for a spiritual teacher or even a guru who’s walked the path so that you can find your own path.
You’ll find many Tantra teachers and training programs out there, however, they are not always what they seem. A few schools of Tantra have been in the media recently having been outed with very serious allegations of sexual misconduct and assault by their students. I feel that it’s my duty of care to encourage you to really do your research when choosing a teacher, training program or “guru”. (I do not believe in “gurus” by the way!).
The best teachers are those who walk their talk, who’ve been to hell and back and can now light the way for you. They don’t just tell you what to do, they go through it with you.
I am always very careful about who I choose to teach me, and with very good reason.
I trained with many renowned teachers, including Psalm Isadora, SARK, Shiloh Sophia Mcloud who I respected and admired. I also came across many people who called themselves teachers who I would not recommend.
Before you choose a teacher, here are 5 questions that I always ask myself before choosing a teacher, and I invite you to do the same:
Are they genuine?
Are they speaking from the heart, or are they just repeating a lot of spiritual new age nonsense? Do they genuinely care about the welfare of their students? Do they show care in their classes?
Have they lived through what they teach?
Have they been to hell and back? Do they practice what they preach on a day-to-day basis? Are they really “walking the walk” as opposed to just saying all the right things?
What do their past students say?
A genuine teacher will be happy for you to speak to past students and ask for feedback. Really do your homework and find out what previous students have said and how they found the teacher.
How do they handle complaints?
Pay attention to how your teacher handles complaints and criticism. Do they go on the defensive and try to blame the accuser? Do they make excuses and claim it was just a “mistake”? Or do they own their crap, take responsibility and try to make amends?
Do they have accountability?
Nobody, not even your guru, is beyond accountability! Nobody can do this kind of work alone and without peer support. Does your teacher have a support system of their own and mentors of their own? In most forms of psychotherapy, supervision is mandatory precisely because nobody is perfect. If your teacher is truly alone and says they don’t “need” mentors- that’s a warning sign!
I have mentors, colleagues, and supporters because I am human. As is your teacher.
Above all, use your discernment and trust your gut instinct. If you’re getting a strong gut reaction about a teacher or training, HONOR THAT and walk away.
Nobody is perfect, and sometimes your teacher will mess up because we are all human. Yes, even me! What matters is how they take responsibility for their actions and for their students.
Think very carefully about calling somebody a “guru” and putting them on a pedestal. Nobody is “above” you and spiritual abilities do NOT equate being an integrated person or having integrity.
What do you think? What questions do you ask before choosing a new teacher?
I hope that if you choose me as your teacher, I will prove myself to you and earn your trust. If you feel called to work with me, then I invite you to join the Sacred Sexual Compass program which started last week.
Take a deep breath.
I want you to imagine what it feels like to take your first sip of hot coffee in the morning.
Or maybe how it feels to smell a bunch of fresh cut flowers. Or how it feels when somebody gives you a back rub after a long day sitting in front of the computer.
Feels good, doesn’t it?
This is what pleasure is. Pleasure is something that you feel first and foremost in your body. It’s anything that feels yummy & delicious.
One of the biggest misconceptions about pleasure is that it only means sexual pleasure. Now don’t get me wrong, my work is about helping both women and men experience more sexual pleasure, but the secret to feeling more sexual pleasure is to start feeling pleasure in all its forms.
Do you remember the last time you felt real pleasure in your body that wasn’t related to sex?
I blame our culture.
We are afraid of pleasure
In the west, we are pleasure-phobic because there is a deeply ingrained belief that we must work hard and suffer to be worthy. In the USA, workers receive an average of just 10 days paid holiday in a whole year- including Christmas Day! American workers are working more than ever before and taking less time off, is it any wonder that we are feeling more stressed than ever?
When I was trying to get some statistics for this article, I typed into Google, “Why pleasure is […]” and the first suggestion that came up was, “Why pleasure is bad”.
We have a deeply held belief (which you can trace back to our founding fathers’ Puritanical roots) that pleasure equals sin.
I invite you to sit for a minute and feel into what comes up for you when you think about pleasure. Are you worried it means going into excess? That it means hedonism? That it will become addictive in the same way we can become addicted to alcohol, fatty foods, cigarettes and recreational drugs?
If we are so deeply afraid of feeling pleasurable sensations, then I say no wonder we are feeling so stressed and disconnected from our bodies, and consequently aren’t enjoying sex!
Pleasure is medicine
I want to introduce a radical new way of thinking about pleasure: Pleasure as healing medicine. There is more scientific evidence coming out about how pleasure decreases stress hormones, increases all the feel-good hormones of oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins, inhibits inflammation and even slows down the aging process!
If it’s commonly acknowledged that stress is the number one cause of most serious illnesses and health conditions, then wouldn’t pleasure be the number one remedy?
In our fast-paced and overstressed society, we need to be doing more of what brings us real joy and lights us up.
Tantra teaches us that pleasure is medicine and that pleasure is a practice: this is what I teach to my clients.
Pleasure is a practice
Taking the time to cultivate pleasure in your life may not be easy at first. We have been so conditioned to shut down our authentic feelings, desires, and dreams that to reverse this behavior can take some work.
When I work with women, their most common resistance is that they don’t want to be “selfish”, “demanding” or they’re afraid of offending someone. They think they’re just too busy to focus on themselves, even if it’s just for 20 minutes a day and they’ve got no energy for it.
Can you hear yourself saying that, as you read this? What’s stopping you from taking 20 minutes a day doing something that brings you joy?
Cultivating pleasure means actively searching for what brings you a feeling of joy, bliss, and connectedness. It can be as simple as when you’re walking in your neighborhood and you smell the aroma of freshly baked bread as you walk past a bake shop, you stop for a few moments and allow yourself to inhale the smell. Or if you’re sitting inside your house reading the newspaper and you see that the sun is shining outside, that you go and sit in the garden and enjoy the sunshine.
Here’s my challenge to you:
Make a “bliss list” of everything that brings you pleasure, alone, with friends and with a partner. You’ll find that when you start making a conscious effort to experiencing more pleasure in your life, you’ll find more things that bring you pleasure!
If you want to take the next step to experience more joy, bliss, and pleasure in your life, I have tailored packages designed to support you using Tantric techniques and my signature program, the Sacred Sexual Compass.
I invite you to book a free 30-minute Sacred Compass Activation with me to see how it can transform your life by clicking here.
You know that feeling.
Something feels wrong. You can’t place it except for a feeling deep inside that you don’t feel in alignment.
Or something just lights you up. It feels like warmth, a fluttering, a glow and no reasoning will explain where it’s coming from.
It doesn’t make sense at all and you’re really confused.
If you’ve been spending your life being “the sensible one” or “doing the right thing” then you, sister, are a people pleaser and it’s draining you!
What would happen if you chose to stop listening to your head and start listening to what your heart wants?
Let me be honest, I haven’t always trusted my intuition or listened to my heart. I’ve let other people convince me to go against what my intuition was saying, I’ve made some big mistakes along my path, and usually because I didn’t trust myself.
There are still times when I let the voice of self-doubt get in the way, but I’ve gotten better.
If I hadn’t followed my heart, I never would have discovered Tantra and never would have healed my deepest wounds with my sexuality. I would never have created my artwork or become a Sex Coach or an Intentional Creativity Teacher.
Now I can serve you.
Following your heart takes real courage, but I promise it will be worth it and I’m going to give you 5 reasons why.
1. You become empowered
When your heart speaks, it’s usually completely different what those around you are telling you. They may be doing it from a place of love, but is it really serving you? When you have the courage to follow your heart, you’re trusting in your own authority. You’re making a choice for yourself. It’s the ultimate tool of self-empowerment!
2. You will inspire others
Everybody has dreams, how many people have the courage to follow through with them and make them into reality? When you have the courage to put your heart’s whispers into the world, you’re giving others permission to do the same.
Soon, people who follow you will be thinking, “If she can do it, then so can I!”.
What would happen if the world was filled with heart inspirations?
3. The world needs your message
What if you were actually being selfish by not sharing your heart? If you’re worried that what you have to say doesn’t matter because it’s already been said already, STOP RIGHT THERE!
Nobody can share your message like you can, so step up and shine your light! What if you started believing that the world needs what you have to say.
We need more truth tellers, storytellers, mystics, and healers.
It’s time you stepped up.
4. Your intuition gets sharper
The more you practice listening to your heart and intuition, I promise, the easier it gets and the more you can rely on it.
5. You’ll be happier long-term
Think of where you want to be in 10 years time, 20 years time, 30 years time. What do you want to be doing?
If what you’re doing now isn’t lighting you up, then will you be any happier in the future?
When you ignore the callings of your heart, you’re actually ignoring your deepest self. You’ll find that your healing comes when you embrace who you really are, which means following the calling of your heart.
And it won’t just be you. The happier you are, the happier your loved ones will be too.
I know because I’m the happiest I’ve been since I stopped and truly listened to my heart’s calling.
Sure, it’s hard work, but I wouldn’t change one second of my journey.
The past few months, my heart has been calling me to integrate my work, which is why you’ll be seeing my artwork from Heartcore Inspirations integrated with my work in Tantra.
I hope you’ll join me on this journey. With love, from my heart to yours.
Are you feeling called to dive deep into your sexuality?
Learning Tantra has changed my life.
I’m not speaking about the kind of Tantra where you have sex for hours on end, although that is always interesting…
I’m talking about the Tantra that is about awakening the senses through breath. Sounds easy enough right?! Well, yes and no.
When I first began studying Tantra, I was a virgin and and devouring the book, The Art of Sexual Ecstacy, yet even after I had sex, I still didn’t “Get” Tantra like I had hoped.
In fact, I kind of gave up on Tantra after awhile, although it popped up in my radar from lovers from time to time, but I felt like I was missing a key point.
It wasn’t until I began my 6 month certification journey in Urban Tantra with Psalm Isadora this past May, that Tantra and me finally clicked.
I realized what I was missing previously, the mind/body connection. Which baffled me, down-right frustrated me for a little while, after all, I’d been a certified yoga teacher since 2011, but what I had failed to connect was my breathing to my sensuality and sexuality. Not suprising since this is something we’re never taught (more on that another day).
In yoga, we’re taught to connect with our breath and be present in our body, yet, sensuality is totally left out and not even addressed, even though, yoga in itself can be such a sensual experience.
So, starting in May, I started practicing Psalm’s 3-Part Tantra Breath and K.I.S.S Meditation daily and it started to change my life so rapidly, I felt compelled to teach and share it with my community, in person every week now for 2 months.
What’s even cooler is that the women who’ve been coming since the beginning are noticing a difference too, even though they said they only practice once a week with me. How awesome is that?!
So beauties, if you’re interested in learning more about how Tantra can transform your life, totally turning up your inner glow, email me at email@example.com and let’s connect 🙂 Blessings and bliss my loves!