Sex

What is Sexual Empowerment?

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Dominique Peters, sexual empowerment, what is sexual empowerment

 

When I was growing up, my body didn’t belong to me.

I was taught that as a little girl, my body belonged to God and then my future husband. The idea that I could choose what I did with my body and who I shared it with never occurred to me until I chose to pursue sexual healing.

Being sexually empowered is something I choose to embody and teach.

But what does it mean to be sexually empowered? Does it mean that you have to have multiple lovers, be the kinkiest in the room or dress a certain way?

Absolutely not! Sexual empowerment is about freedom of choice and owning your sexuality, darling.

Here I’ll share what sexual empowerment means to me:

 

  1. You know your body

 

When you learned about your body in highschool, how much did they teach you about your sexual anatomy? Sure, you may have learned about the ovaries, the uterus, the testicles and the penis. But I bet they never taught you about the clitoris, the G-Spot (in both men and women!) the prostate or what feels really pleasurable.

Do you know your sexual response cycle? Do you know where you like to be touched? Do you know what kind of touch you like?

Sexual empowerment starts with knowing your body and how it functions. This also includes being responsible about your sexual health, using contraception and practising safer sex.

Making empowered choices about your body is sexy!

 

  1. You feel free to say “yes” and “no”

 

It sounds simple, being sexually empowered means you are free to say “YES!”, “No” or “Not Yet”. Many people do not have that power- and this is why sex without consent is not sex, it’s assault.

Consent is a word that is being used a lot these days- and for good reason! If you are not freely, enthusiastically and making an informed choice about what you are doing sexually, that is not consent.

Sexual empowerment is when you don’t feel under pressure to do anything sexual that you don’t want to do. Whether it’s pressure from your partner, your hookup or what you’re telling yourself that you “should” do something. Be mindful of this.

I want you to say “OH HELL YES!!” to sex, or at the very least, “Hmm, I’m not feeling it yet, maybe later?”.

Your body, your sexuality, your choice.

 

  1. You own your desires and you communicate them

 

Admit it, you’ve got fantasies, haven’t you? If you’re really honest with yourself, what do you most want to experience in the bedroom? What haven’t you tried yet that you’re secretly burning to try?

Whether it’s being tied up, trying handcuffs, a long and sensual massage or trying different sex toys, being sexually empowered is embracing your sexual desires as healthy.

This includes your kinks and dark fantasies, it’s time you owned them! Why not create a “sexual bucket list” of everything that you like and would like to try?

Once you know what you like (and what you don’t like!), you need to communicate this clearly with your partner(s).

Think about it, how can somebody else know what you like? When you go to a restaurant, don’t you tell the serving staff just how you like your steak done, or to not put too much cheese on your pasta? The same comes to sex!

Shake off that shame and voice what you want!

 

  1. You make up your own mind

 

Growing up, you will have been given lots of messages about your body, what was expected of your gender, about sex, sexuality, love, and relationships.

How much of what you were taught do YOU agree with today?

You are an adult and are free to make your own personal choices about YOUR body, YOUR relationships, and YOUR sexuality. (As long as it’s consensual!!).

Sexual empowerment is actively choosing what you believe, and deciding what you do with your life. Whether you choose to have multiple partners, only one partner or no partners at all. The choice is yours, my love. Don’t feel bad for what you believe and what you have chosen.

It’s also letting other people choose to live how they choose.

You are an infinite being with a beautiful sexuality.

May you be sexually empowered.

Dominique xx

Independence Day: Why Our Freedom Still Hasn’t Been Won

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sexual freedom, Independence Day, Dominique Peters

 

Wednesday was the 4th of July in the United States

 

It was a time for a celebration of our independence and for our freedom.  But has our freedom really been won?

Here are some uncomfortable truths:

  • African Americans, Puerto Rican Americans and Native Americans have the highest rates of incarceration in the United States.
  • People of color are still facing high rates of police violence
  • Migrants are being imprisoned on entry to the United States
  • The United States was named in the top 10 most dangerous countries to be a woman.

We can’t have real freedom without sexual freedom

I believe that we can’t have real freedom without sexual freedom.

In 2010, the Woodhull Freedom Foundation published a report on the State of Sexual Freedom in the United States. It’s a long read, but it explains why sexual freedom is a fundamental human right and why sexual rights are human rights.

Sexual freedom is where everyone is given equal rights, no matter what their sexual orientation, gender identity, sexual expression, physical ability, sex or pregnancy status. Sexual freedom is where comprehensive reproductive health care is available and accessible to everyone, regardless of ethnicity, financial circumstances, gender, location, religious beliefs, physical ability or orientation.

It’s giving comprehensive, evidence-based sex education to all ages so that teens and young people can make informed choices about their bodies. It’s being free from persecution based on your sexual orientation, gender identity or sexual expression. It’s embracing that sex is PLEASURABLE, and giving pleasure-based sex education so that our sexual experiences can be not just enjoyable, but consensual.

Sexual Freedom starts with you

While we must continue to fight for sexual freedom on a civic and public level, we need to start with ourselves first.

  • On a personal level, how free do you feel as a sexual being?
  • Do you feel comfortable with you goddess-given, beautiful body?
  • Do you like your genitals?
  • Are you able to own your most secret desires and fantasies without shame?

If you’re still a prisoner of your own sexual shame, then how are you really free?

Your freedom starts with freeing yourself from your limiting beliefs about your body.

Freeing your body using delicious Tantric techniques and dancing.

Freeing your sexual energy to circulate around your body so that you feel your desire for life.

Freeing your spirit from the sexual shame that has been passed down through the generations so that you can dance freely with your sexuality.

Let me help you to free your sexuality and contact me to discuss how we can work together.

Connect with me here and we’ll start your journey to sexual freedom

 

 

The Gift of Touch

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I had the most incredible massage today by my friend and colleague, Vanessa. There is something so dear, so precious about being touched by a human being in a completely non-sexual, yet sensual way.

Vanessa’s hands danced gracefully and intentionally across my flesh, focusing on those spaces within need of extra attention and melted me into a state of oblivion.

I realized today, although I’ve had hundreds of massages at this point, that there is such a gift in not only being given a massage but in being able to actually receive the nurturing, love and healing that one has access to when on the table.

I was able to access a part of me that I haven’t been able to since I was a teenager, in that sweet space of innocence before one “grows up” and has to embrace adulting. I smelled out of now where the scent of sweet tobacco and leather, reminding me of my medicine pouch that I use to have and that disappeared after too many moves in my early twenties. I saw with my eyes closed, energy dancing and moving, the life force or shakti that is within everything moving and swirling.

Gratitude swells in my heart and I give thanks to the gift of touch from a dear friend and bless this beautiful thing called life.

Sending you all bliss, love and pure joy!

Feeling so much gratitude and Bliss

Blissed Out -artist unknown

 

 

Edge Walker

By | female empowerment, Medicine Woman Journey, poetry, Sex | No Comments

Image by iamamermaid.com

Being in the in between…

Sacred Sexuality Priestess

Priestess of the Red Thread

Our Red Tent Priestess in Training

Feeling into what my mission is…

Where I’m called is to dance in the in-between spaces with the beloveds that come to me, guide them in the wisdom of the ages of love, passion, womb wisdom and sacred sexuality.

Listening deeply to the guidance of the great Lady, our cosmic Mother, She points in the direction and it’s taking shedding my earthly ego and belief system to step into where she is asking me to go.

Transformation of your earthly temple is eminent She whispers, you hold the key to your own metamorphosis.

Trusting in Her support, guidance and protection, I prepare to dance into the re-creation of my inner landscape that will spill out into the landscape of my flesh.

I have held onto my fear of complete transformation too long says my inner critic, yet I know it’s all happening in divine timing.

Time to untie the knot of the fear that binds me to walking my path as the goddess, priestess, the sister I see in my visions.

I want to let go of the life raft that allows me to float, yet I keep thinking I’ll drown, that I need to get back to being safe, invisible, what will people think? Will I cease being loved? Will I be outcast from those that I love? Will I be killed if I stand out & be seen? Lifetimes of that fear…it’s a series of fears that is only holding me back from the woman I’m meant to become in this lifetime, I’m not waiting another…it’s time to let go of the raft and let my mermaid tail do the swimming.

I let go and begin diving down deep, I can breathe underwater…I step into another vision…

I breathe in and out into my dream of the woman I see myself becoming, feeling I’m hiding in my cocoon…the Great Seasons say it’s time to emerge, ready to fly…I crawl out of my cocoon, shaking off the memories of what was…I flap my wings…

I fly into the great Unknown, walking in between the worlds guided by She.

I feel you out there my tribe of sisters, it’s time to converge, emerging together as ONE, powerful and unstoppable.

I’ll meet you on the other side my beloveds.

*Beautiful Image Credit: Mermaid by C. Crumley

Entry Two: Sex and Pizza

By | Sex, the sacred and profane | No Comments

One could argue which is more profane and holy, Pizza or Sex…to me, pizza is the profane and sex the sacred. My beloved’s favorite date day for the past two years when the seasons turn and the frost blankets the ground in the early morn, is a meal thick crust pepperoni pizza, cuddling on the couch, a thought provoking film and after, sex on the couch. After, we nuzzle on the fuzzy blankets and I dust his face with angel kisses. We dated long distance for a time and when we connected would have these extravagant dates and once he moved in, the best date days began to consist of nothing but delicious food and one another. And I have to say, as boring as that sounds, I’ve never been happier.

Let’s get connected.

Intimacy starts with communication. Connection starts with authenticity. Let’s make this personal. 

You’re here because you deeply desire more intimacy, deeper connection, and more juiciness in your life and relationships. 


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Mahalo nui loa

Dominique xox

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