5 Questions You Need To Ask Before Choosing a Tantra Teacher

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tantra teacher, spiritual teacher, Dominique Peters

Who do you consider your teacher?

We find many teachers as we journey through life- some we intentionally choose, and some who find their way to us. When you choose to take a journey of personal, spiritual and sexual growth, you will look for someone who’s been there and who can guide you along. You’ll look for a spiritual teacher or even a guru who’s walked the path so that you can find your own path.

You’ll find many Tantra teachers and training programs out there, however, they are not always what they seem. A few schools of Tantra have been in the media recently having been outed with very serious allegations of sexual misconduct and assault by their students. I feel that it’s my duty of care to encourage you to really do your research when choosing a teacher, training program or “guru”. (I do not believe in “gurus” by the way!).

The best teachers are those who walk their talk, who’ve been to hell and back and can now light the way for you. They don’t just tell you what to do, they go through it with you.

I am always very careful about who I choose to teach me, and with very good reason.

I trained with many renowned teachers, including Psalm Isadora, SARK, Shiloh Sophia Mcloud who I respected and admired. I also came across many people who called themselves teachers who I would not recommend.

Before you choose a teacher, here are 5 questions that I always ask myself before choosing a teacher, and I invite you to do the same:

  1. Are they genuine?

Are they speaking from the heart, or are they just repeating a lot of spiritual new age nonsense? Do they genuinely care about the welfare of their students? Do they show care in their classes?

  1. Have they lived through what they teach?

Have they been to hell and back? Do they practice what they preach on a day-to-day basis? Are they really “walking the walk” as opposed to just saying all the right things?

  1. What do their past students say?

A genuine teacher will be happy for you to speak to past students and ask for feedback. Really do your homework and find out what previous students have said and how they found the teacher.

  1. How do they handle complaints?

Pay attention to how your teacher handles complaints and criticism. Do they go on the defensive and try to blame the accuser? Do they make excuses and claim it was just a “mistake”? Or do they own their crap, take responsibility and try to make amends?

  1. Do they have accountability?

Nobody, not even your guru, is beyond accountability! Nobody can do this kind of work alone and without peer support. Does your teacher have a support system of their own and mentors of their own? In most forms of psychotherapy, supervision is mandatory precisely because nobody is perfect. If your teacher is truly alone and says they don’t “need” mentors- that’s a warning sign!

I have mentors, colleagues, and supporters because I am human. As is your teacher.

Above all, use your discernment and trust your gut instinct. If you’re getting a strong gut reaction about a teacher or training, HONOR THAT and walk away.

Nobody is perfect, and sometimes your teacher will mess up because we are all human. Yes, even me! What matters is how they take responsibility for their actions and for their students.

Think very carefully about calling somebody a “guru” and putting them on a pedestal. Nobody is “above” you and spiritual abilities do NOT equate being an integrated person or having integrity.

What do you think? What questions do you ask before choosing a new teacher?

I hope that if you choose me as your teacher, I will prove myself to you and earn your trust. If you feel called to work with me, then I invite you to join the Sacred Sexual Compass program which started last week.

Join here, beauty!

The Healing Power of Pleasure

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pleasure, Tantra, Dominique Peters

 

Take a deep breath.

I want you to imagine what it feels like to take your first sip of hot coffee in the morning.

Or maybe how it feels to smell a bunch of fresh cut flowers. Or how it feels when somebody gives you a back rub after a long day sitting in front of the computer.

Feels good, doesn’t it?

This is what pleasure is. Pleasure is something that you feel first and foremost in your body. It’s anything that feels yummy & delicious.

One of the biggest misconceptions about pleasure is that it only means sexual pleasure. Now don’t get me wrong, my work is about helping both women and men experience more sexual pleasure, but the secret to feeling more sexual pleasure is to start feeling pleasure in all its forms.

Do you remember the last time you felt real pleasure in your body that wasn’t related to sex?

I blame our culture.

We are afraid of pleasure

In the west, we are pleasure-phobic because there is a deeply ingrained belief that we must work hard and suffer to be worthy. In the USA, workers receive an average of just 10 days paid holiday in a whole year- including Christmas Day! American workers are working more than ever before and taking less time off, is it any wonder that we are feeling more stressed than ever?

When I was trying to get some statistics for this article, I typed into Google, “Why pleasure is […]” and the first suggestion that came up was, “Why pleasure is bad”.

We have a deeply held belief (which you can trace back to our founding fathers’ Puritanical roots) that pleasure equals sin.

I invite you to sit for a minute and feel into what comes up for you when you think about pleasure. Are you worried it means going into excess? That it means hedonism? That it will become addictive in the same way we can become addicted to alcohol, fatty foods, cigarettes and recreational drugs?

If we are so deeply afraid of feeling pleasurable sensations, then I say no wonder we are feeling so stressed and disconnected from our bodies, and consequently aren’t enjoying sex!

Pleasure is medicine

I want to introduce a radical new way of thinking about pleasure: Pleasure as healing medicine. There is more scientific evidence coming out about how pleasure decreases stress hormones, increases all the feel-good hormones of oxytocin, dopamine, and endorphins, inhibits inflammation and even slows down the aging process!

If it’s commonly acknowledged that stress is the number one cause of most serious illnesses and health conditions, then wouldn’t pleasure be the number one remedy?

In our fast-paced and overstressed society, we need to be doing more of what brings us real joy and lights us up.

Tantra teaches us that pleasure is medicine and that pleasure is a practice: this is what I teach to my clients.

Pleasure is a practice

Taking the time to cultivate pleasure in your life may not be easy at first. We have been so conditioned to shut down our authentic feelings, desires, and dreams that to reverse this behavior can take some work.

When I work with women, their most common resistance is that they don’t want to be “selfish”, “demanding” or they’re afraid of offending someone. They think they’re just too busy to focus on themselves, even if it’s just for 20 minutes a day and they’ve got no energy for it.

Can you hear yourself saying that, as you read this? What’s stopping you from taking 20 minutes a day doing something that brings you joy?

Cultivating pleasure means actively searching for what brings you a feeling of joy, bliss, and connectedness. It can be as simple as when you’re walking in your neighborhood and you smell the aroma of freshly baked bread as you walk past a bake shop, you stop for a few moments and allow yourself to inhale the smell. Or if you’re sitting inside your house reading the newspaper and you see that the sun is shining outside, that you go and sit in the garden and enjoy the sunshine.

Here’s my challenge to you:

Make a “bliss list” of everything that brings you pleasure, alone, with friends and with a partner. You’ll find that when you start making a conscious effort to experiencing more pleasure in your life, you’ll find more things that bring you pleasure!

If you want to take the next step to experience more joy, bliss, and pleasure in your life, I have tailored packages designed to support you using Tantric techniques and my signature program, the Sacred Sexual Compass.

I invite you to book a free 30-minute Sacred Compass Activation with me to see how it can transform your life by clicking here.

What is Sexual Empowerment?

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Dominique Peters, sexual empowerment, what is sexual empowerment

 

When I was growing up, my body didn’t belong to me.

I was taught that as a little girl, my body belonged to God and then my future husband. The idea that I could choose what I did with my body and who I shared it with never occurred to me until I chose to pursue sexual healing.

Being sexually empowered is something I choose to embody and teach.

But what does it mean to be sexually empowered? Does it mean that you have to have multiple lovers, be the kinkiest in the room or dress a certain way?

Absolutely not! Sexual empowerment is about freedom of choice and owning your sexuality, darling.

Here I’ll share what sexual empowerment means to me:

 

  1. You know your body

 

When you learned about your body in highschool, how much did they teach you about your sexual anatomy? Sure, you may have learned about the ovaries, the uterus, the testicles and the penis. But I bet they never taught you about the clitoris, the G-Spot (in both men and women!) the prostate or what feels really pleasurable.

Do you know your sexual response cycle? Do you know where you like to be touched? Do you know what kind of touch you like?

Sexual empowerment starts with knowing your body and how it functions. This also includes being responsible about your sexual health, using contraception and practising safer sex.

Making empowered choices about your body is sexy!

 

  1. You feel free to say “yes” and “no”

 

It sounds simple, being sexually empowered means you are free to say “YES!”, “No” or “Not Yet”. Many people do not have that power- and this is why sex without consent is not sex, it’s assault.

Consent is a word that is being used a lot these days- and for good reason! If you are not freely, enthusiastically and making an informed choice about what you are doing sexually, that is not consent.

Sexual empowerment is when you don’t feel under pressure to do anything sexual that you don’t want to do. Whether it’s pressure from your partner, your hookup or what you’re telling yourself that you “should” do something. Be mindful of this.

I want you to say “OH HELL YES!!” to sex, or at the very least, “Hmm, I’m not feeling it yet, maybe later?”.

Your body, your sexuality, your choice.

 

  1. You own your desires and you communicate them

 

Admit it, you’ve got fantasies, haven’t you? If you’re really honest with yourself, what do you most want to experience in the bedroom? What haven’t you tried yet that you’re secretly burning to try?

Whether it’s being tied up, trying handcuffs, a long and sensual massage or trying different sex toys, being sexually empowered is embracing your sexual desires as healthy.

This includes your kinks and dark fantasies, it’s time you owned them! Why not create a “sexual bucket list” of everything that you like and would like to try?

Once you know what you like (and what you don’t like!), you need to communicate this clearly with your partner(s).

Think about it, how can somebody else know what you like? When you go to a restaurant, don’t you tell the serving staff just how you like your steak done, or to not put too much cheese on your pasta? The same comes to sex!

Shake off that shame and voice what you want!

 

  1. You make up your own mind

 

Growing up, you will have been given lots of messages about your body, what was expected of your gender, about sex, sexuality, love, and relationships.

How much of what you were taught do YOU agree with today?

You are an adult and are free to make your own personal choices about YOUR body, YOUR relationships, and YOUR sexuality. (As long as it’s consensual!!).

Sexual empowerment is actively choosing what you believe, and deciding what you do with your life. Whether you choose to have multiple partners, only one partner or no partners at all. The choice is yours, my love. Don’t feel bad for what you believe and what you have chosen.

It’s also letting other people choose to live how they choose.

You are an infinite being with a beautiful sexuality.

May you be sexually empowered.

Dominique xx

Why You Must Always Follow Your Heart, Even If It Seems Crazy

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follow your heart, Dominique Peters

You know that feeling.

Something feels wrong. You can’t place it except for a feeling deep inside that you don’t feel in alignment.

Or something just lights you up. It feels like warmth, a fluttering, a glow and no reasoning will explain where it’s coming from.

It doesn’t make sense at all and you’re really confused.

If you’ve been spending your life being “the sensible one” or “doing the right thing” then you, sister, are a people pleaser and it’s draining you!

What would happen if you chose to stop listening to your head and start listening to what your heart wants?

Let me be honest, I haven’t always trusted my intuition or listened to my heart. I’ve let other people convince me to go against what my intuition was saying, I’ve made some big mistakes along my path, and usually because I didn’t trust myself.

There are still times when I let the voice of self-doubt get in the way, but I’ve gotten better.

If I hadn’t followed my heart, I never would have discovered Tantra and never would have healed my deepest wounds with my sexuality. I would never have created my artwork or become a Sex Coach or an Intentional Creativity Teacher.

Now I can serve you.

Following your heart takes real courage, but I promise it will be worth it and I’m going to give you 5 reasons why.

1. You become empowered

When your heart speaks, it’s usually completely different what those around you are telling you. They may be doing it from a place of love, but is it really serving you? When you have the courage to follow your heart, you’re trusting in your own authority. You’re making a choice for yourself. It’s the ultimate tool of self-empowerment!

2. You will inspire others

Everybody has dreams, how many people have the courage to follow through with them and make them into reality? When you have the courage to put your heart’s whispers into the world, you’re giving others permission to do the same.

Soon, people who follow you will be thinking, “If she can do it, then so can I!”.

What would happen if the world was filled with heart inspirations?

3. The world needs your message

What if you were actually being selfish by not sharing your heart? If you’re worried that what you have to say doesn’t matter because it’s already been said already, STOP RIGHT THERE!

Nobody can share your message like you can, so step up and shine your light! What if you started believing that the world needs what you have to say.

We need more truth tellers, storytellers, mystics, and healers.

It’s time you stepped up.

4. Your intuition gets sharper

The more you practice listening to your heart and intuition, I promise, the easier it gets and the more you can rely on it. 

5. You’ll be happier long-term

Think of where you want to be in 10 years time, 20 years time, 30 years time. What do you want to be doing?

If what you’re doing now isn’t lighting you up, then will you be any happier in the future?

When you ignore the callings of your heart, you’re actually ignoring your deepest self. You’ll find that your healing comes when you embrace who you really are, which means following the calling of your heart.

And it won’t just be you. The happier you are, the happier your loved ones will be too.

I know because I’m the happiest I’ve been since I stopped and truly listened to my heart’s calling.

Sure, it’s hard work, but I wouldn’t change one second of my journey.

The past few months, my heart has been calling me to integrate my work, which is why you’ll be seeing my artwork from Heartcore Inspirations integrated with my work in Tantra.

I hope you’ll join me on this journey. With love, from my heart to yours.

Are you feeling called to dive deep into your sexuality?

Contact me here and let’s get started.

Independence Day: Why Our Freedom Still Hasn’t Been Won

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sexual freedom, Independence Day, Dominique Peters

 

Wednesday was the 4th of July in the United States

 

It was a time for a celebration of our independence and for our freedom.  But has our freedom really been won?

Here are some uncomfortable truths:

  • African Americans, Puerto Rican Americans and Native Americans have the highest rates of incarceration in the United States.
  • People of color are still facing high rates of police violence
  • Migrants are being imprisoned on entry to the United States
  • The United States was named in the top 10 most dangerous countries to be a woman.

We can’t have real freedom without sexual freedom

I believe that we can’t have real freedom without sexual freedom.

In 2010, the Woodhull Freedom Foundation published a report on the State of Sexual Freedom in the United States. It’s a long read, but it explains why sexual freedom is a fundamental human right and why sexual rights are human rights.

Sexual freedom is where everyone is given equal rights, no matter what their sexual orientation, gender identity, sexual expression, physical ability, sex or pregnancy status. Sexual freedom is where comprehensive reproductive health care is available and accessible to everyone, regardless of ethnicity, financial circumstances, gender, location, religious beliefs, physical ability or orientation.

It’s giving comprehensive, evidence-based sex education to all ages so that teens and young people can make informed choices about their bodies. It’s being free from persecution based on your sexual orientation, gender identity or sexual expression. It’s embracing that sex is PLEASURABLE, and giving pleasure-based sex education so that our sexual experiences can be not just enjoyable, but consensual.

Sexual Freedom starts with you

While we must continue to fight for sexual freedom on a civic and public level, we need to start with ourselves first.

  • On a personal level, how free do you feel as a sexual being?
  • Do you feel comfortable with you goddess-given, beautiful body?
  • Do you like your genitals?
  • Are you able to own your most secret desires and fantasies without shame?

If you’re still a prisoner of your own sexual shame, then how are you really free?

Your freedom starts with freeing yourself from your limiting beliefs about your body.

Freeing your body using delicious Tantric techniques and dancing.

Freeing your sexual energy to circulate around your body so that you feel your desire for life.

Freeing your spirit from the sexual shame that has been passed down through the generations so that you can dance freely with your sexuality.

Let me help you to free your sexuality and contact me to discuss how we can work together.

Connect with me here and we’ll start your journey to sexual freedom

 

 

Let’s get connected.

Intimacy starts with communication. Connection starts with authenticity. Let’s make this personal. 

You’re here because you deeply desire more intimacy, deeper connection, and more juiciness in your life and relationships. 


Leave me your email address and you’ll receive personal notes from myself and my team, along with news about upcoming events and offers that I hope will enrich your life. 

Mahalo nui loa

Dominique xox

PS: I hate spam as much as you do, so I promise that I will never share your details with marketing companies or send you anything that I don’t believe in or would recommend to my clients.